Memory Lane

Sometimes when I accidentally fall through memory lane, past wounds and feelings were opened up once again, creating a gush of overwhelming emotions that could change one's appearance and attitude within seconds.

When walking pass the lane, I opt to think, "Why did I do that?", "Why was I so stupid?", "If that would have happened, how would it be different now?" ,"Will I be better or am I still the same?". Questions after questions as such flows into thought, making one more vulnerable mentally and emotionally. Past failures crushes the chance of an emerging new hope. To be honest, there are some areas in my life I wish it would had been better in the past. Like what my friend told me, "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride". So no hope wishing too much but rather try to work harder for a brighter future.

But as I look through my failures in my Memory Files, God reminded me of how much He has already blessed me with. There are countless blessings that He has given me that was totally unexpected. And when I look back and stroll even slower down Memory Lane, I managed to notice the little happy things that God has put into my life. Sometimes it happens, we are too busy focusing on our disappointments and failures that we fail to notice the blessings and success we once had. Instead of letting our disappointments pull us down, we ought to let God's blessings encourage us.

For instance, I really really wish I could study overseas. But when I look back, at the start, I wasn't even able to have a tertiary education due to financial reasons. But God took care of me and blessed me with a 4+0 scholarship. Now I'm busy studying. God has indeed provided me with an education when at first, I shouldn't even be having it. And there are so many benefits of staying here locally, I get to serve in the ministry He has called me to be in, I get to develop existing friendships and I get to learn a humble lesson of being contented.

Knowing God has been my greatest success of which I do not regret at all. I know that the more we hope for something, the greater the disappointment if it fails. But our God is a God of Hope, a God of Love and a God of Grace. He had showed me more than these 3 aspects. So be it, I will still hope regardless of circumstances for the testing of faith develops perseverance. No doubt we grow stronger, wiser and more mature through the challenges that we face.

"As discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11.

As of current, who am I to complain? I ought to be happy for what that has been given to me. However, as contented as I am, I'll strive harder in accordance to God for a better, brighter future. Why I say, "brighter future"? Because Jesus is the Light of The World. With Him, I am certain my life would be brighter. That is my faith. What is yours?